For many abuse survivors, the thought of a deposition can be one of the most intimidating parts of a civil lawsuit. It is a moment where you are asked to recount deeply personal and traumatic events, under oath, with the person who harmed you or the institution that failed you represented by an attorney on the other side of the table. It is completely normal and valid to feel anxious, nervous, or overwhelmed by this prospect.
But it is also a moment of immense power. A deposition is your opportunity to have your story officially entered into the legal record, in your own words. It is a critical step in holding abusers and negligent institutions accountable. Our team is here to demystify the process, help you understand what to expect, and provide you with the tools to navigate your deposition with strength and confidence.
Key Takeaways
- You Are Not Alone: Your attorney will be by your side throughout the entire deposition to protect you, guide you, and object to improper questions.
- Honesty is Your Greatest Strength: The most important rule is to tell the truth. This includes truthfully stating "I don't remember" when you don't remember a detail. Never guess or speculate.
- You Control the Pace: You have the right to take a break whenever you need one, for any reason—to use the restroom, get a glass of water, speak with your attorney, or simply to take a deep breath.
- The Goal is Factual Testimony: A deposition is not a memory test or an interrogation. Its legal purpose is for the other side to understand the facts of your claim as you remember them.
- Preparation is Empowerment: The best way to reduce anxiety is through preparation. Your legal team will spend time with you before the deposition to ensure you feel as ready and comfortable as possible.
What Exactly is a Deposition? Demystifying the Process
Before we discuss how to prepare, it is essential to understand what a deposition is and, just as importantly, what it is not.
A deposition is a formal, out-of-court question-and-answer session where you (the "deponent") give sworn testimony. It is a standard part of the "discovery" phase of a lawsuit, which is the period when both sides gather information about the case.
It is NOT a trial. There will be no judge or jury in the room. It is typically held in a conference room at an attorney's office, or sometimes conducted remotely via video conference.
Who Will Be in the Room?
The number of people present is usually small:
- You (the Deponent): The person giving testimony.
- Your Attorney: Your advocate, who is there to protect your interests.
- The Opposing Attorney(s): The lawyer(s) representing the defendant (the abuser or institution you are suing). They will be the ones asking you questions.
- A Court Reporter: A neutral professional who will type a word-for-word transcript of everything said during the deposition. They will also administer the oath at the beginning.
In a civil sexual abuse case, it is extremely rare for the individual abuser to be physically present at your deposition. Their lawyer will be there, but you should not have to face the person who harmed you in this setting.
What Does "Under Oath" Mean?
At the beginning of the deposition, the court reporter will ask you to raise your right hand and swear or affirm to tell the truth. This is the same oath you would take in a courtroom. It simply means you have a legal obligation to be honest. The transcript created by the court reporter becomes an official record that can be used later in settlement negotiations or, if the case goes to trial, in court.
Your Attorney's Role: Your Shield and Your Guide
The single most important thing to remember is that you will not be alone. Your attorney is there for one reason: to protect you. They play an active and vital role both before and during the deposition.
Before the Deposition: Comprehensive Preparation
Your legal team will not send you into a deposition unprepared. You will have one or more preparation sessions where your attorney will:
- Explain the Process: They will explain exactly what to expect from the moment you arrive until the moment you leave.
- Review the Facts of Your Case: You will go over the key events and facts of your claim, not to script your answers, but to help you feel comfortable recalling and discussing them.
- Practice with Potential Questions: Your attorney will ask you the types of questions the other side is likely to ask. This will help you practice answering truthfully and concisely and reduce the chance of being surprised.
- Teach You the "Rules of the Road": They will review the core principles of giving testimony, which we will cover in the next section.
During the Deposition: Active Protection
During the deposition itself, your attorney will be sitting right next to you, actively listening to every question. They will:
- Object to Improper Questions: If the opposing lawyer asks a question that is harassing, confusing, repetitive, or seeks legally privileged information, your attorney will say "Objection." They will then instruct you on whether you should answer the question or not. Think of an objection as your lawyer pressing a pause button to protect you from an unfair question.
- Clarify Confusing Questions: If a question is poorly worded or confusing, your attorney can step in and ask for it to be rephrased so you can understand it clearly.
- Ensure You Get Breaks: Your attorney will monitor your well-being and will call for breaks if they see you are getting tired or overwhelmed. Remember, you can also ask for a break yourself at any time.
Core Principles for Answering Deposition Questions: Your "Golden Rules"
While your attorney is your shield, you are the one providing the testimony. Following a few simple but crucial rules can make the process much smoother and ensure your testimony is as clear and accurate as possible.
1. Listen Carefully to the Full Question
This sounds simple, but in a nervous state, it's easy to anticipate a question and start answering before the lawyer has even finished speaking. Resist this urge. Listen to the entire question, from beginning to end. Make sure you understand exactly what is being asked. If you don't understand, it is perfectly acceptable to say, "Can you please rephrase that?" or "I don't understand the question."
2. Pause Before You Answer
Once the question is finished, take a moment. A pause of two or three seconds does three important things:
- It gives you time to think and formulate a clear, truthful answer.
- It gives your attorney time to object if the question is improper. If you answer immediately, you may answer a question your attorney would have advised you not to. This deliberate pause is one of your most effective tools.
- It gives the court reporter a chance to record one person speaking at a time.
3. Tell the Truth—Always
Your credibility is your greatest asset. The truth is always the right answer, even if you think it might be embarrassing or somehow "hurt" your case. The opposing attorney already knows many of the facts, and getting caught in a dishonest statement is far more damaging than the truth itself.
And remember: the truth includes the limits of your memory. Which leads to the next rule…
4. "I Don't Know" and "I Don't Remember" Are Powerful, Complete Answers
Survivors often feel immense pressure to remember every single detail of a traumatic event that may have happened years or decades ago. Most people also want to be cooperative and answer every question. This is an impossible standard. Trauma profoundly affects how memories are formed and stored.
- If you don't know the answer to a question, the correct answer is "I don't know."
- If you don't remember a specific detail, the correct answer is "I don't remember."
Do not guess. Do not speculate. Do not estimate. The other side's lawyer may try to push you for a "best guess." You do not have to provide one. Simply and calmly repeat, "I don't remember." These are honest, truthful, and complete answers.
5. Answer Only the Question That Is Asked
This is another critical rule. Do not volunteer information that was not requested. Your job is not to tell a story or explain your reasoning; it is simply to answer the specific questions asked.
- If the lawyer asks a "yes or no" question, and you can honestly answer with a "yes" or "no," do so.
- If the lawyer asks, "What color was your clothing?" the correct answer might be "Blue." Do not say, "It was blue, and I remember it because it was the same color as the shirt I was wearing yesterday."
Providing short, factual answers prevents you from accidentally giving the opposing attorney information they can use to ask more questions you weren't prepared for.
Managing the Emotional Toll of a Deposition
Acknowledging the emotional and psychological challenges of a deposition is a key part of preparing for it. Although this will be a difficult day, it is manageable.
- Trust Your Support System: Let your trusted friends, family, or therapist know when your deposition is scheduled. Arrange to have someone you can call during breaks or to be with you after the day is over.
- Use Grounding Techniques: If you feel yourself becoming overwhelmed during the deposition, bring your focus back to the present moment. Feel your feet on the floor. Hold a small, smooth stone in your pocket. Take slow, deep breaths during your pauses. These small physical actions can help calm your nervous system.
- Prioritize Self-Care: Get a good night's sleep before your deposition. Eat a healthy breakfast. Plan something gentle and restorative for yourself after it's over, like watching a comforting movie, taking a warm bath, or going for a quiet walk. Acknowledge that you have done something incredibly difficult and brave, and give yourself permission to rest and recover. For additional support, organizations like RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) offer confidential resources 24/7.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) About Depositions
How long will my deposition take?
The length can vary widely depending on the complexity of the case. Some depositions last a few hours, while others might take a full day (typically with a lunch break). In some complex cases, they can even extend to a second day. Your attorney will be able to give you a more specific estimate based on your case.
What should I wear to my deposition?
You should dress as if you were going to a professional business meeting. Choose something that is comfortable and not distracting. Conservative, business-casual attire is usually a safe choice. You want the focus to be on your words, not your clothing.
What happens with the deposition transcript afterwards?
The court reporter will prepare the written transcript, which you and your attorney will have an opportunity to review for errors. The transcript then becomes an official part of the case record and a key piece of evidence that can be used to negotiate a settlement or presented at trial.
Final Thoughts… You Have the Strength to Do This
Preparing for a deposition is about turning an intimidating process into one that feels manageable and empowering. By understanding the rules, trusting your attorney, and giving yourself permission to take care of your emotional well-being, you can navigate this crucial step with courage. Your testimony is a powerful tool for justice, and you have a dedicated team ready to support you every step of the way.
If you are a survivor and have questions about the legal process, we are here to provide answers. Contact File Abuse Lawsuit for a free and completely confidential consultation. Our compassionate team is here to guide you. Call us at (209) 283-2205 today.